Oh,so many work hv to do leh stupid….heyyo…I dun wan b the Buddhism secretary ah stupid!!!u noe hw worst my mandarin o not stupid!!!the ding2 vry stupid!!!y chose me stupid!!!nxt time when I c him,sure he will die on my hand ar stupid!!!apk ar…I dun wan b the marketing manager ar stupid!!!!!i wanna b the assistant ar!!!!n y just simply copy mine “market n its competition” ar stupid,yer…I just cin cai use commonsense rote myself de ar stupid,if wrong ardy then hw,I didn’t do any research ar stupid!!!!i just created myself de ar stupid,u tot it’s a speech meh!!!is 4proposal 1 ar stupid,copy3!!!heyyo!!!easy pha max ah easy pha max,I dun wan b ur leader ar stupid!!!u think I am tat geng meh stupid!!!i wan b a teacher!!!teacher ar stupid!!!eventhough I dun like to b a teacher bt I stil wanna b a teacher ar stupid!!!i noe I am suitable to b the H.R. o wat R n I like in it oso bt I dun wan ar stupid!!!i dun care bout the money money money ar stupid!!!dun tel me the money!!!!u wan money u go gain urself la stupid!!!our life x only 4 money money money!!!actually mine show plan is bttr than my up line I think,ya,rite!!!bttr than hers!!!she couldnt attract me pun!!!at least other ppl wil feel hapi when listen to my talk ar stupid…I wanna geng-er than her!!!same line than her!!!high stand than her!!!sure I cn la stupid,if I join it earlier!!!

I wanna cry…….

Y v shouldn’t b together…my mum called me just nw…she checked my fb…she doesn’t wan me to b gether wit him…it’s force…my tear almost cm out…I dunx hw to reply…I try to let her noe more about him…bt…it seems gtting worse…cuz she said hw cn I noe him well while v aren’t noe each other 4 long time…I wont b wit a guy tat I dun hv tat feeling…tis was my last word through the ph…a depress called…

Tis should b a nice blog 4today…y it happen so damn fast…y it wil happen on me…isn’t nice if v find a partner tat lv each other…I seem like kena electric shock when his hand…body o wat touch on me…weird…bt nice feeling………………………………………..fgt it fgt it fgt it!!!!!!!fgt the sad things!!!!!!

Ching yan,nobody support u….except katty n yourself…I noe I hv to think proper b4 I decide,I noe I hv to gt ready 1st if I choose him…ya,I dun noe when will he feel bored on me…I am worried oso,will he feel bored on me after few years,n then v just break up like tis…haih,say is easy la,if u guys are me,u oso will think the same wit me de…it’s bttr I bring him bck my home 1st,gt my family de heart 1st,bt is in fren position 1st…argh………………………………………………………...

Blood pressure….heart attack…calm dwn,everything will b alright….i just had a small talked wit my mum bout him…reject again,it is x his problems,I dunx hw to explain…al her advices r gud 4me oso…malay cn b polygamy,I hv to fllw him after marriage,religion,food,al those things n many2 lagi…al religion cn b,only muslim…she didn’t scold me,she loves me…I replied a empty msg to him,actually I do nothing here,I just wanna b alone…wat cn I do,if I b wit him,I wil lose my family,if I gv up,I dun think I cn find a guy who is bttr than him…my family oso same,they wil kick me out of huz…it makes me soosoooooo FAN!!!!single……….is bttr…………………..i didn’t tel him,hw cn I tel him,sure he feel sad,angry,disappointed n I dunx wat he wil do n think the nxt…I only noe it wil mk me more fan if I tel him…mayb I wil just wait…after 3years,after 5years,after 8years…the time cn prove it,he isn’t like wat u guys think,dun judge him by religion,he is different frm them…n he isn’t belong to me anymore after those years…he cn find a bttr 1s…whatever la…n I just simply b wit a guy who love me o b single al my life…it is bttr if v dun noe tat v lv each other!!!argh...i dunx ar!!!al the religions teach us the gud things,then y v stil hv lots of different religions,4wat!!!fuxk!!!it must b changes if I cn b the prime minister,like obama…wat cn the najis do 4 us!!!he did a gud job to the Mongolian gal,the umno,the church,the masjid!!!!politics’ world is full of ren zha!!

I went to kien yong’s huz yesterday…walaowei,his mum so nice,gv us rm10…hahaha…damn long time x c them,if they didn’t cal me,I oso couldn’t meet them…I am lazy to meet them,I prefer stay at home wit my family,compare wit last time,went out everyday,ply3 n gt worst result…kien yong seems loss his weight,gary n tong chuan n choi yee gtting fat…eiyer,they al siao 1s,stil the same,nvr change,same crazy…My huz bcm quiet again…uncles aunties cousins al went bck KL ardy…haih…didn’t gambling much tis year,weird…cn gamb,would feel slpy n losing the money…I cn drink,n drink a little much…I cn drink 6cans wit my brain,mind stil clear after tat…rm700++,so little tis year…. long time didn’t c lam oso,he’s sot de,everytime only noe ask yee wen o shim yee where is me,if wanna c me then should cm to find me,cal me go here go there,cal other to cal me…wait la,sot de…I am x tat miss to c u oso….enough,lets ready to go to tong chuan’s huz collect ang pau…

i am suck

Why am I so noob…noob in managing the stupid relationship things…I nvr try n gv up…I dunx wat should i do the nxt…lots of shit install to my brain suddenly,I wanna gt off frm here…I dun wan mk him sad,I dun wan he changes any thing,I wanna b wit him,bt it seems gt lots of blocks infront of me…I nvr hv tis feeling to other guys even my x bf…why he is muslim,if he is x,then everything wil b settle up easily…I dunx wat to write…blur…………….

Yoy…I finished my falsafah assignment ardy…hehehe…crazy,always do things last minutes…burn my midnight oil tis few days,till my face looks like gt poison…if my mum c it,she wil say…look at ur face,so dirty,nobody wan u ardy…o my dad,dirty,u hv to wash ur face always,dun b lazy,u nvr listen to my advices…I heard sence many years aga…nvr change…n if I stay up again tis few days,I think I will fall to sick soon…then cnt eat anything during cny…

I wan to meet wit miss Jennifer,I miss her much now,I lv her so much,I wanna fly to America,her prediction comes true again…haiz…she’s super2 natural…hw she predicts it??if her prediction is true,then I will hv a different live in my future…I hope he isn’t lv me while I cnt feel any lv frm him… bt I wan to b wit him at the same time…it doesn’t matter tat I lv him,it doesn’t matter 4 me to think bout him al the time,as long as I x need to mk any decision…I wil feel dwn till dunx hw to describe when he goes wit other gals,tat feeling is weird…you…dun lv me,send me to the reject shop cuz I am low quality,a bad gal,a boring gal… I am bad n worst in making decision,I scared I will regret,scared I am x suit 4him cuz I am too noob,scared he’s x loyal to me,scared my family will against…my family,the biggest lack 4me…I dun hv any reason tat y I lv him,like v always ask other y he o she lv her o him…wat to do…write dwn al my feeling 1st b4 I fgt n go to slp…then fgt it after awake…it wont tk me to the longer stress,I am used to it ardy…

love attack

Lets continue my lv attack…the lv attack is recover ardy,at least it didn’t feel dwn nw…it cnt control itself oso,yoy…low eq…I scared it will start again when I continue keep gud in touch wit him…I should control my way at the beginning…the feeling is realy weird,it started frm yesterday…Oooo,I fall in lv wit the person tat he’s not belong to me…lets keep it deeeeeep inside…bt it depent on hw I think about it…I found the way ardy…hehehe…u cn think he isn’t lv u de la,he gt his belover gal ardy,he’s nice to u just b cuz u r his fren n u nice to him too,he only treat u as fren…tis few ways ardy cn mk me dun care bout him much cuz he is x lv me!!is only like,who cnt like others…these aren’t cheating myself rite…I think I stil gt chance to change it…start frm nw ba…maintain ours relationship!!!!remember.dun over my limit…n I cn guarantee our friendship will b further not longer too…selfish,I am suck…

Undescribe feeling…down till dun x how to say…hey,stupid heart,wat u wan!!!dun play!! I cn sure tat u gt lv attack now…y… stop pls….who cn hlp me…no..i x need any hlp!!!!no need!!!!i cn solve it myself!!i wanna b alone!!!no…is cheer up!!!shit…I am ki siao ardy….CHING YAN,b strong b tough!!!tougher!!!lousy blog!!!you cn’t even make feel bttr after wrote!!!!u make me more… …shit blog!suck blog!!!go die la u!!

Friend…wat’s the meaning of friend…it’s different with best friend,classmate…I’m also not sure wit the meaning of friend…I think friend is who wont betray u,is nvr betray u n make use on u…is hard to find a true friend….especially in college o Uni…some of them like to mk use on others,just 4 their own benefit…I dunx why they stil cn live so long at here,n hw their parents teach them,tats y malaysian still need to study moral till frm5…I used by ppl b4,always I think…bt fgt when n used 4 wat ardy…I just heard frm my best frens…I treat them as fren but they treat me like hell…mayb I am too easy go person,then easy cheat…

roselind realy is a true fren to b wit…realy…I realized today…she always hlps siew siu in what ever matters…n she’s admire on me b4 tis…hahaha,funny,gt ppl admire at me…bt not nw any more,just b cuz she gt shock on my obstinacy…actually ia m x tat obstinacy,I only care a bit about my food…her characteristics is totally different wit siew siu…if they wanna to stay gether well or 4longer,then either one of them should b concede…cuz siew siu wont b the concede 4 sure…I wanna to advice her everytime,bt I dunx wat to say…sometimes I just simply called ss apologize to her…o I will stand on roselind side to scold ss…